Mindfulness

Image by John Hain from Pixabay

Mindfulness is another of these core concepts that you can change you life's direction with. At its core, it's a simple concept, pay attention to the now. Be present. Be mindful of your surroundings and don't get lost in your head.

It's that last one I have trouble with. Whether I'm having anxiety about the future, shame from my actions, or regrets from my past, these are the things that keep that squirrel in my head running at full speed. Latley I've got shame and regret solve pretty easy with a slap on the wrist. A simple, "that's not on our list of things to feel today," will stop those thoughts from coming back. It's easier for me to see that there is no use in dwelling on the past then worrying about the future. I like to plan out entire conversation trees that I'l never use or think  up situations that will never come to be. These anxieties, as I've come to know them, are complex and take up aa lot of my daily thinking, they always have, so a simple, "NO," doesn't cut it.

I need to pull out the big guns here, I tap into that spirituality we talked about to pull me out of it. I ask for help, "please pull these thoughts from my head and give me the strength to not think about them today." but these habits are so ingrained in me that I obsess over them, I find them really "important" to dig in to, so back around I come and spend more of my time thinking about it. Maybe another prayer will work, but really what I need to see is the energy I am wasting and the negative thought I'm birthing into the world. Is this how I want to be? Is this what I Want to spend my time doing? No most certainly not. I need to get in front of this, attack it before it gets me. The shame and guilt took work to minimize, so will this.

On the opposite end of our memory lies the past, dealing with the past can be a tough chore. We all look back with a clear view of what happened and how we could have changed it. Staying in the past can bring forth guilt and shame. I'm not saying we shouldn't feel bad about things we've done, but again, just acknowledge what we have done and accept that we can not change it, but we can change the way we are now. Again meditation helps here by training the brain to let the thought flow, feel the regret of the past, and then pass it through ourselves without the pain of dwelling on it.

The two most proactive things I can do for mindfulness are meditation  and self talk. These are two more of the cornerstones to my healthy habits. I'll talk more about self talk later, as it is a topic into itself. Mindfulness and meditation go hand in hand, nothing can bring your mind back to the here and like meditation. I'm not talking about the 'empty your mind' version we all hear about, but the open our mind that we should be seeking out. Relaxing and listening to our thoughts without pushing them away, just noticing them and letting them go on through. This can help ease the passing of future tripping thoughts, acknowledging them and letting them pass. Not dwelling on the what ifs, but noticing the thought and releasing it instead of ingraining it.

Another place in my life that mindfulness works is with how I talk to myself and others. If I let myself go with my emotional response I can come across curt, harsh, or needy. The same is true for my inner dialogue, I often catch self talk calling myself stupid, lazy, or a loser. Being mindful allows us to stop those automatic programs from taking over allowing us a space to reset and appreciate ourselves rather than berate.

So you ready to meditate? I sarted with five minutes and have worked my way up to 20-30 depending on how I'm feeling in the morning. I try and meditate just after I wake so I can lock that time in for myself. I find before sleeping and after waking are the two times I  can schedule very specifically, the rest of my day seems to be murcurial and resistant to structure.

Taking time to be mindful will improve our hearts and minds. Additionally, mindfulness radiates into others in our lives by seeing our focus on them when we interact. When we practice mindfulness along side of our other personal growth tools we have the capacity to show those around us via our new practice of perception how much they mean to us.